I got a degree from Douglas College in programming and business management. I understood the business side more and was better at that than at being a coder.
Everybody wants to flourish-to experience joyful, meaningful, shared growth. The problem is, we've been trained to approach the most important parts of our lives as if they are games to win, when they're more like gardens to be grown. Flourishing isn't about being smarter-it's about taking simple actions that foster the ecosystem of your life.
When expectations are unclear, trust in leadership and collaboration begins to drop. When this happens, the frustration that follows is real. But the deeper cost is often invisible-trust begins to erode. This dynamic is increasingly common. Roles evolve, priorities shift, and teams are asked to move faster with less certainty.
At first glance, that statistic might seem to confirm a familiar narrative about modern life. People are isolated. Communities have weakened. Technology has replaced relationships. But the data tells a more precise story. Most Americans want connection. Many are actively looking for it. What they are running into instead are systems that make connection hard to access and harder to sustain.
Twenty years ago, as the top digital and innovation executive for Citi's credit card business, I led the team that spent months building what looked like a brilliant partnership. We'd found a startup with a disruptive payments platform-one that became the forerunner of what has become a new payment type used by millions of consumers today. The deal: strategic investment in exchange for access to the startup's codebase as a sandbox for innovation pilots. No more waiting in the legacy systems queue. Just rapid prototyping with leading-edge developers.
To successfully repair after a mistake, you need to acknowledge and name the mistake, validate the other person's feelings and viewpoint, and create a plan for the specific actions you will take to prevent this mistake from occurring again.
No wonder it feels personal that this team rejects your efforts. It is personal; it's happening to you. But it's not about you. This team might have so much internal tension that they can't stand to be in a meeting together. Maybe they had a bad experience with your predecessor. They might think they know it all already and attending meetings is just wasting their time. Or it could really be as straightforward as what they've told you: Their working hours and training times are already used up.