For nearly a decade, while his son, Varad Nerker, lived away from home for studies, he called his father at dusk. No matter how busy he was, he would say, papa, bas awaaz sunni thi [I just wanted to hear your voice], recalls the 55-year-old government employee. That routine between the son and the father broke two years ago.
Valente was described as brilliant and competitive, but willing to help his colleagues out. He finished top of his class, with an average grade of 19 out of 20, an unusually high score for Tecnico. Loureiro, who was said to be an excellent student but more easygoing than Valente, finished with an average grade of 16 out of 20. Classmates say that, at the time, the two men appeared socially well adjusted.
An analysis of numerous studies shows that grade-centric approaches are not always beneficial for young people's mental health and do not yield the expected benefits. Understanding, encouragement, and support, rather than asserting too much pressure, become the cornerstone of healthy youth development. A child with their parents' support is more likely to grow into a resilient, confident, motivated, and secure adult. On the contrary, emotionally unsupported children are likely to remain mentally fragile and underachieving.
When newcomers or a family rising out of poverty, or maybe just a middle-class family that has squirrelled away the money for a college education, push a child to study hard, that child can feel the heavy burden of family hopes. In many countries around the world, these expectations are driving an epidemic of suicide and self-harming behaviors among emerging adults.