You're Not the Only One Who Wants to Crawl Out of Their Skin at Holiday Parties. An Awkwardness Researcher Explains Why.

"You have food, you have alcohol, you have questions about what to wear, you have people you don't see very often, or who you see very often but not in this context. There's also a lot of pressure on the holidays in general. We have a lot of expectations that don't always align-like we want it to be a lot of different things, and maybe it can't be all of those things."

"Awkwardness is an inevitable part of human existence, says Alexandra Plakias, a philosophy professor at Hamilton College and the author of the 2024 book Awkwardness: A Theory. But it doesn't have to be debilitating. Sometimes, it can even be useful. In the thick of what may be the most awkward season of the year, Plakias and I chatted about how to plan for holiday mishaps, why certain situations make us want to die, and what awkwardness tells us about social capital."

Holiday gatherings combine food, alcohol, dress questions, unfamiliar social contexts, and high expectations, creating a perfect storm for awkwardness. People encounter relatives or colleagues in settings that differ from usual roles, producing mismatched expectations and social pressure. Cultural portrayals of glamorous holiday parties raise unrealistic hopes that real office or family events rarely meet. Awkwardness is an inevitable part of human social life but need not be debilitating; it can reveal social dynamics and offer opportunities for managing relationships. Anticipating likely mishaps, lowering unrealistic expectations, and preparing responses can reduce discomfort and preserve social capital during seasonal gatherings.

Read at Slate Magazine