"Hate is holding on to blame, ill will, othering, resentment, and retaliation. Its definition is the opposite of that of forgiveness: a letting go of blame, ill will, othering, resentment, and retaliation. Forgiveness frees us and grants closure after a painful event. Hate stays in us, eats away at us. The rage, blame, and venomous ill will are unceasing. Our revenges are ongoing; our need to hurt back is insatiable. There is no "this revenge has gone far enough.""
"When we hate, we do not seek reconciliation with the person we see as an offender. Nor do we want or accept compunction in that person. We will not be satisfied with an apology. We do not want reconnection, just ongoing punishment. We also lose any chance of having hope in humanity, which is a path to the revoking of hate. Hate-fueled vengeance is a frequent style among street gangs whose members are wounded in so many sad, unreconciled ways that are the breeding ground for retaliatory egos."
Hate consists of clinging to blame, ill will, othering, resentment, and retaliation, while forgiveness entails letting those go. Forgiveness frees individuals and grants closure after painful events; hate remains and corrodes the self. Hate produces unceasing rage, ongoing revenges, and an insatiable need to hurt back. Hate blocks reconciliation, rejects apologies, and eliminates hope in humanity, which would enable the revoking of hate. Hate-driven vengeance manifests in contexts such as street gangs, where unresolved wounds and trauma become a breeding ground for retaliatory egos and physical attacks. Social exclusion like cancel culture exemplifies punishment-focused responses rather than repair.
Read at Psychology Today
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