"On the second day of a workshop I'm teaching, called The Art of Letting Go, I've planned a discussion of the yogic practice of releasing our tendency to over-control situations. My intention is that people will recognize how much pain they create when they try to control every little thing in their lives-and that they learn how to let go."
"I write two phrases on the white-board, In control and Out of control, and ask the participants to hold both phrases in mind, one after the other. I ask them to notice the feeling state that arises around each one. It's no surprise when two-thirds of the people in the room report that they prefer feeling in control rather than out of control."
A workshop exercise contrasts the phrases "In control" and "Out of control" and asks participants to notice the feeling states associated with each. Most participants report a preference for feeling in control. One participant recounts her husband receiving a phone call accusing her of an affair and describes feeling a profound relief at no longer needing to try to control outcomes. Several others respond with personal stories of intimacy and liberation that arose when situations slipped beyond deliberate control. Examples include being driven by gale-force winds in a sailboat when the sails came loose. The group shifts from anxiety about loss to curiosity about surrender.
Read at Yoga Journal
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