The article reflects on a turbulent period in the author's life, characterized by an intense, unhealthy relationship with his girlfriend that led to chaos and a nervous breakdown. The incident of damaging Kenny's bedroom door symbolizes his emotional turmoil. While staying with friends in a luxurious home, he grapples with feelings of dependence on his girlfriend, navigating through self-medication via alcohol, leading to moments of profound realization about his situation and the necessity of distancing himself from her for both their sakes.
She was in the bedroom, and I was outside it. We talked through the door, each of us drinking—which was a big mistake, a big miscalculation that went unrecognized at the time.
If I wanted to be kind to myself, and to her, too, I could say that we were self-medicating. But, no matter what you call it, we knew enough to get away from each other.
I had some sort of idea or perception of her that manifested as this gigantic, ungovernable feeling that I couldn't live without her.
It seemed bizarre when the gate opened in response to the code that Kenny punched in and all that luxury recognized us.
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