The lush gardens and nooks and crannies of the ashram were transformed into a playground where my friends and I roamed freely, liberated from structure and rules.
Though I was loved by many sannyasins and some looked out for me, there was no formal structure to ensure my emotional or physical wellbeing.
The facade of love and celebration began to crack, revealing darker undercurrents that quietly enveloped me, such as inappropriate attention from certain men.
I knew that unless I remained vigilant, situations like this would continue to occur; it felt grossly wrong despite the facade of open sexuality.
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