The feeling of not just calm but contentedness never left me while I was at the resort. It wasn't just a matter of summoning up some sort of internal "you got this, girl" mantra ― though those mini-pep talks certainly helped ― it was the people around me.
When I told people I was both a lesbian and in a monogamous relationship, they not only listened ― they heard me. One couple offered to take me under their wing, show me around and introduce me to their friends.
They showed me the 'playroom' and warned that if I went there alone, it would be easily misread as a willingness to play. They advised me to steer clear of the hot tub at night; it was another place where one's presence could be read as a statement of at least interest.
Although the resort didn't specifically mention consent or rules, they assured me that I would always feel safe and comfortable. I never felt uncomfortable, and if I had, all I had to do was let someone know.
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