But only just

"The mission had started all right - this planet was as beautiful as always, all reds and purples. Daoud's replacement seemed obedient enough - stepping where instructed, doing nothing stupid. But Helis had been unable to lose the shaking from her hands. The boy had had to collect most of the samples. Helis put three digestives on a plate and half-arsed her mission report."

"She paused for a long time looking at the free-text field for any other comments. "Daoud's ashes are only a 17th of the way between here and home," she wrote. "Here I still am, clipping weeds for you lot to study because you're scared to get your hands dirty, and given what happened to Daoud, I can't even blame you for your fear." It wasn't like anyone ever read the reports. Isla walked in without knocking. She was carrying a scent bottle."

Helis returns from a contaminated field mission, strips hazmat gear, and encounters Isla on the stairs who asks about her first outing since Daoud. Helis reaches her office and bursts into tears. The mission itself succeeded: the planet was vivid, Daoud's replacement followed instructions, and samples were collected, but Helis could not stop shaking and the boy gathered most samples. Helis wrote a perfunctory report and added that Daoud's ashes were only a seventeenth of the way home and that she remained clipping weeds because others feared getting their hands dirty. Isla brings a scent bottle and biscuits. Fifteen years later Helis's hands still shake constantly.

Read at Nature