The narrator grapples with estrangement from their father while considering an invitation to India from a friend. Though uncertain about traveling away from England and living with someone else's mother, memories of familial connections weigh heavily on them. The narrator reflects on their yearning for reconciliation, especially through their mother, amid changing seasons and continued silence from their father. This longing intertwines with a sense of hope that complicates their emotional state, illustrating a profound struggle with loss and belonging.
I had been estranged from my father for a year by then, but I was still telling myself that the estrangement was temporary, that the breach would heal.
I thought she would convince my father, soften his heart. That's how it happens in the Bible, when two souls fall out of kinship. God softens a heart.
It was difficult, then, to keep believing that we would reconcile, but equally difficult to give up that belief. I did not know how to live with the loss of my parents.
I could not imagine why I would go to a country that was not my country, to live with a mother who was not my mother.
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