Many women feel pressured to conform to ideals of being contained and neat to be deemed desirable. These archaic feminine ideals suggest that occupying less space—both physically and in personality—will attract more acceptance. Author Amy Key notes that conforming to these standards is futile if it compromises one's true self. Comedian Helen Bauer highlights society's troubling preference for youth and restraint in women. She reflects on how this standard begins early and creates discomfort when examined critically. Ultimately, embracing one's full self is essential for genuine connection and self-love.
It wasn't the first time I had heard a woman label herself as too much, intense or a lot... many women still believe that being a contained, neat person will make them more desirable.
Trying to contort your body and personality to meet these ideals is such a pointless exercise, because in all likelihood you will fail if that's not who you are.
The comedian Helen Bauer, whose forthcoming Edinburgh show, Bless Her, is about learning to love yourself, thinks concerns about being too much all come back to society's creepy fascination with youth.
When you start interrogating that desire, it just gets so gross so quickly. Why do you want them small?
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