"Emotional labor doesn't show up on balance sheets or KPIs, yet it profoundly shapes team resilience, psychological safety, and culture. Beyond delivering strategy and results, women are often expected—without being told—to regulate the room's emotions. That unspoken expectation carries a real psychological cost."
"Research shows women who act assertively are often penalised for violating norms of feminine 'niceness.' Studies by Laurie Rudman and Peter Glick found that agentic women were seen as less socially skilled and sometimes less hireable than equally qualified men. Traits praised in men as assertive may be labeled aggressive in women."
"The result is a double bind: Be strong, but not intimidating; be warm, but not weak—requiring constant recalibration. One of the most practical first steps to handling emotional labor is naming it. Start tracking relational tasks in the same way you track deliverables."
Emotional labour—managing feelings to meet organizational expectations—disproportionately affects women leaders despite remaining invisible in KPIs and balance sheets. Women leaders navigate a double bind: they must be strong without appearing intimidating, warm without seeming weak, while softening difficult messages, absorbing frustration, and mentoring staff. Research demonstrates that assertive women face penalties for violating feminine norms, with identical traits praised as assertive in men labeled aggressive in women. This constant recalibration carries significant psychological costs. Making emotional work visible by tracking relational tasks alongside deliverables represents a practical first step toward acknowledging and addressing this unwritten job description.
Read at Psychology Today
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