Miss Manners: Is it true that I shouldn't say waitress?
Briefly

Miss Manners: Is it true that I shouldn't say waitress?
"Surely you must have been wide awake enough to notice that the person who delivered your peanuts on an airplane was sometimes male, and that another male sometimes took your order at the local eatery. Yes, various jobs are no longer gender-specific. Miss Manners would be sorry to think that retirement had left you oblivious to the dynamics of life, which, indeed, lexicographers must follow. You may not always like the way the world evolves, but to deny it is to condemn yourself to social stagnation."
"I have just received a delivery notice that two bottles of wine are on the way to me. This is the fourth such delivery, from a financial professional who manages some of my accounts. I have always sent a nice thank-you afterwards. The problem: I don't drink wine! I just give it to someone who does appreciate it. What bothers me is that while I am not an alcoholic, I have close friends and family who are."
Gendered job titles such as stewardess, actress, and waitress have largely fallen out of common use as workplaces become gender-neutral. Lexicographers update language to reflect these social changes. Resisting linguistic shifts risks social stagnation. Repeated gift deliveries of wine from a financial professional created discomfort for a recipient who does not drink and has friends and family with alcohol problems. Sending alcohol as a business favor can be thoughtless or harmful to some recipients. Donors should avoid directing presents to unknown recipients as a business ploy. Alternatives include donating to charity in a recipient's honor or suggesting donations instead of physical gifts for events.
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