"When did wellness become about achieving perfection, and when did leisure become a bad word? Perhaps it is the product of a society where self-worth is tied to productivity and external approval? In this context, we don't perform wellness for its own sake. It is the means to an end. Wellness tends to be how we weather the hustle. So what happens when you fall short of expectations set by yourself or others?"
"Not all shame is bad. A healthy type of shame helps you acknowledge your faults and take accountability. Unhealthy shame is being in constant vigilance, anticipating rejection at every turn. It is important to know that you are rarely the source of your shame. It may be fueled by messages you have internalized from others through your culture, society, and media, about how you "should" be, what you "should" have, and how you "should" show up in the world."
Shame-free wellness reframes self-care away from performance and perfectionism, emphasizing release from external approval and productivity metrics. Excessive work and performative wellness create toxic narratives that tie self-worth to outcomes and provoke unhealthy shame. Unhealthy shame manifests as constant vigilance, anticipating rejection, and self-blame rooted in cultural and media messages about how one "should" be, have, or show up. Practical change involves recognizing that shame often originates from external pressures, separating worth from accomplishment, and designing personalized wellness practices that fit individual realities. Letting go of unrealistic expectations restores energy, reduces guilt, and supports sustainable, joyful well-being.
Read at Psychology Today
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