"Hello Trash Pandas, and happy December! 'Tis I, Elinor Jones. Christmas has exploded in my home, with decorations that are a combination of vintage keepsakes my mom kept from my childhood and random crap my daughter insisted we buy from Freddie's. It's pure chaos and I will love it for the next three weeks and not a second longer. (Can you tell I'm a Cancer?)"
"Trump was caught dozing in a cabinet meeting last week. This is irritating to me because I don't want anyone to think that my "This meeting could have been a nap!" mug is in any way referring to him. Then House Speaker Mike Johnson went on to claim that he himself has to work 18 hours a day because Trump works 21 hours a day. I mean, if he sleeps at work, and we count sleeping as working, then yeah, I mean, I guess?"
"When the thread was again under scrutiny, it was discovered that Vice President J.D. Vance returned to it on March 25-at two in the morning-and wrote, " This chat's kind of dead. Anything going on?" When this was first reported on, it sounded like Vance was pathetically reaching out and coming to the realization that a second group chat had been formed without him in it, which was hilarious, because he's a loser."
Home decorations combine vintage keepsakes and impulsive purchases, creating chaotic holiday cheer for a limited time. A cabinet meeting included a former president dozing, prompting sarcastic commentary about work hours and public perceptions. Investigations into a Signal group chat revealed leaked military plans and an awkward late-night message from Vice President J.D. Vance, underscoring social missteps and embarrassment. A major studio consolidation with Netflix acquiring Warner Bros and HBO Max raises concerns that prioritizing shareholder value may harm filmmaking and creative priorities. The tone blends personal anecdote with sharp, humorous political and media critique.
Read at Portland Mercury
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