In 2005 Ashley Ludlow learned that her mother Judy had attempted suicide and was found unconscious. Judy was placed on life support in a Florida hospital while Hurricane Katrina prevented family travel. Ludlow held power of attorney and, based on Judy's written wishes, requested a Do Not Resuscitate order so her mother would not be revived if she stopped breathing. Judy died a few days later. Ludlow experienced profound grief and overwhelming guilt about the decision. About a week after Judy's passing a male ICU nurse called to say he had cared for her and that she had never woken.
For anyone that has lost a loved one to suicide, you know how difficult this is. All of the mixed emotions, the guilt, the sadness. There's so many complicated feelings wrapped up into it all,
I had many [phone] conversations with the hospital about her outcome. I didn't want my mom to suffer, but I also didn't want my mom to end up living not as herself. That is not what she would've wanted at all,
I knew based on what she had written out that those were her wishes. But having to tell someone that out loud was agonizing. I was heartbroken, and the decision made me feel like that I myself was ending my mom's life, and the guilt was overwhelming,
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