"For anyone that has lost a loved one to suicide, you know how difficult this is. All of the mixed emotions, the guilt, the sadness. There's so many complicated feelings wrapped up into it all,"
"I had many [phone] conversations with the hospital about her outcome. I didn't want my mom to suffer, but I also didn't want my mom to end up living not as herself. That is not what she would've wanted at all,"
"I knew based on what she had written out that those were her wishes. But having to tell someone that out loud was agonizing. I was heartbroken, and the decision made me feel like that I myself was ending my mom's life, and the guilt was overwhelming,"
In 2005 Ashley Ludlow learned that her mother Judy had attempted suicide and was found unconscious. Judy was placed on life support in a Florida hospital while Hurricane Katrina prevented family travel. Ludlow held power of attorney and, based on Judy's written wishes, requested a Do Not Resuscitate order so her mother would not be revived if she stopped breathing. Judy died a few days later. Ludlow experienced profound grief and overwhelming guilt about the decision. About a week after Judy's passing a male ICU nurse called to say he had cared for her and that she had never woken.
Read at www.npr.org
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