"I invited a small group of close friends, ordered a round and let the night unfold without expectations. No theme, no outfit planning and definitely no after-party. This was not my usual approach. I typically mark birthdays with intention and spectacle, but this year I wanted quiet. I wanted something that didn't require logistics, spreadsheets or a credit card statement I'd be afraid to open."
"In the weeks leading up to my birthday, I had been preparing for my best friend's wedding, and not in the vague, celebratory way people often mean when they say that. I mean bridal shower planning and gifting, booking flights for a destination bachelorette party, researching hotels, finding a dress that felt appropriate for multiple events, coordinating airport transportation, selecting a wedding gift, and signing a card with my name - and my male friend's - neatly written inside."
"The morning after my birthday, I landed at the destination wedding hotel after an early flight and a long shuttle ride, dragging my suitcase into the lobby with a group of friends and their boyfriends trailing behind me. I stepped up to the front desk to handle the check-in while everyone else waited, chatting casually, phones in hand. I confirmed reservations, clarified room details and mentally tracked who owed what, knowing I'd sort it out later."
A 29th birthday was celebrated quietly in a dimly lit Manhattan dive bar to avoid planning, expense, and logistics. In the weeks before, extensive preparations for a best friend's wedding consumed time and money: bridal shower tasks, gifting, booking flights and hotels, coordinating transportation, selecting gifts, and signing a card with a friend’s name. The help was given willingly out of love, but left the person mentally and emotionally drained and financially stretched. Arrival at the destination hotel revealed a pattern of defaulting to handle logistics for friends, feeling more like an organizer than a guest.
Read at HuffPost
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