"Deb was smart, professionally successful, and the mom of two children, 13 and 6. She was a highly respected professor and wrote books on feminism. Deb was also married to a man whom she didn't like and who scared her; she felt afraid and unable to speak the truth in her own home. For the past five years, her husband had been angry and unkind towards her. She walked on eggshells, kept the peace, and pretended all was well."
"Despite her emotional and intellectual intelligence, Deb had been unable to make the situation better. Still, her husband's defensiveness and emotional manipulation made it impossible to address the issues or her suffering. This strong, self-sufficient, smart, and attractive woman felt trapped and stuck. She didn't know how she could stay, but she didn't know if she could bear to leave."
Deb was professionally successful, a respected professor, and mother, yet she lived in fear of her husband's anger and emotional unkindness. She adapted by walking on eggshells, keeping the peace, and pretending all was well to avoid triggering him. Her husband's defensiveness and emotional manipulation blocked any honest confrontation of issues. Despite intelligence and resources, she felt trapped, unable to risk losing the relationship or endure the process of leaving. A three-stage 'truthing' process begins with women discovering their identities apart from roles, recognizing abandoned needs, and waking to wants sacrificed for connection, harmony, and stability.
Read at Psychology Today
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