"Both common sense and science tell us that people desire to attract and keep the best mate they can get. Someone who has high value, who commits to them, and who thinks highly of them in return. Nevertheless, we also hear of people ending relationships and divorcing spouses, only to pick a new partner who seems to be objectively lower in mate value afterwards. Why?"
"Sometimes, we can uncover hidden variables or biases that explain the choice. Perhaps they are leaving a compatible partner for someone who sparks more passion, even though the new partner has less value overall. Or maybe they are leaving a partner because of underlying problems we don't know about-or picking a new partner for hidden benefits we can't identify. At other times, however, people do seem to trade downward on purpose."
People generally seek and try to retain high-value romantic partners who commit and think highly of them. Some individuals end relationships with such partners and later choose new partners who appear lower in objective mate value. Possible explanations include hidden variables like increased passion for a different person, underlying problems with the prior relationship, or undisclosed benefits from the new partner. Some people intentionally trade downward because they feel unable or unwilling to meet higher partners' greater expectations and may prefer partners whose feedback verifies their self-views rather than simply enhancing them.
Read at Psychology Today
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