"The well-documented rise in adult-child-parent estrangement creates stressors for grandparents, too (such as loss, identity change, social isolation, and complicated loyalties). It raises the practical importance of grandparent communities as protective resources (for emotional support, practical help, advocacy, and skills for boundary work). I was recently speaking to a friend who is also a new grandparent, and we discussed the joys of being grandfathers, as well as how rewarding it feels to help our adult children navigate this challenging time in their lives."
"Given the rise in estrangement between adult children and their parents, we both feel grateful that our adult sons feel comfortable turning to us and allowing us to be there for them. We both acknowledged that we are not the parents and have moved from the driver's to the passenger's seat, and how important it is to validate our sons in the ways they are parenting. Our goal is not to end up in the back seat!"
Grandparents often navigate their role alone in a culture centered on nuclear families, learning how to support adult children, bond with grandchildren, and set boundaries. Grandparent communities provide validation, boundary guidance, emotional and practical support, advocacy, and skills for boundary work. Rising adult-child-parent estrangement produces loss, identity change, social isolation, grief, and divided loyalties for grandparents. Shared reflection within grandparent communities helps maintain connection to families without becoming intrusive. Long-term connections among grandparents who have raised children enrich caregiving experiences and provide a supportive network when challenges arise with adult children or grandchildren.
Read at Psychology Today
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