"A secure attachment style is the predictor of emotional intelligence in adulthood. It means that you have empathy and insight and that you are accountable. You trust others and try to see the good in people. Acting selflessly when you need to in a relationship is rarely a problem for you. These capacities stem from your ability to grapple with uncomfortable emotions, understand them, and act on them usefully."
"The ability to recognize, articulate, and process troubling emotion is evidence that you are not walled off by staunch, unconscious defense mechanisms. You may get defensive at times, but your defensiveness usually softens, and you regain your ability to "look in the mirror" and find your part in a conflict. Your sense of self is strong and secure enough to handle your flaws."
Feeling insecure in a relationship does not automatically mean having an insecure attachment style. Awareness of insecurities indicates the capacity to handle difficult emotions and suggests emotional security. Secure attachment predicts emotional intelligence, including empathy, insight, accountability, trust, and willingness to act selflessly. Those capacities arise from grappling with uncomfortable emotions, understanding them, and acting usefully. Taking responsibility and admitting faults, though uncomfortable, fosters trust and demonstrates care. Conversely, people who rarely take sincere responsibility and compensate with aloofness or superiority may be highly defended and profoundly insecure.
Read at Psychology Today
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