When low contact' doesn't mean healing but coercion | Letters

"What concerned me most was the lack of acknowledgment of how this trend overlaps with the rise in coercive control. One of the first warning signs of an abusive partner is encouraging someone to isolate from family and friends. How confusing must it be for people to see that behaviour supported in online messaging. Isolation is a major red flag for domestic abuse, and we should be helping young people to recognise that."

"Since Covid, my sister has chosen low/no contact with my parents and, by extension, with me. We had a loving, ordinary, stable upbringing. One of the most important relationships in both our lives was with our grandma, something my parents nurtured even when it wasn't easy. We've been in a state of living grief. My parents are heartbroken, and I'm heartbroken for them."

Many people step away from family to escape unsafe or abusive situations, which can be necessary and healing for some. Rising social-media-fuelled individualism can normalize low-contact choices and create unintended consequences. The overlap between promoted low-contact norms and coercive control risks encouraging isolation, a common warning sign of abuse. Young people must learn to recognise isolation as a red flag. Families can suffer profound grief when relationships are severed without clear signs of wellbeing. Partners may influence distancing, leaving individuals without support networks. Awareness is needed of families left behind and the potential for isolation to be coercive rather than healing.

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