"Right off the bat, knowing him felt amazing. I was still reeling from the aftereffects of living with an abusive man who died a few months after I finally got away. Emotionally raw, my nervous system felt like it was covered in third-degree burns being scrubbed with a Brillo pad. But this new friend? He felt safe. Quiet. Peaceful. He wanted to see me multiple times a week. He introduced me to his child. We spent time watching TV, going out for drinks and dinner, living in what felt like a comforting routine."
"Once, when I asked him to repay money he owed me, I received a semi-scathing text accusing me of not being a "real friend," because "real friends" don't expect repayment. Am I here to subsidize your income? You'd think I walked away entirely at that point. No, not quite. When There's No Communication, There's No Friendship Instead, I drank too much one night and made out with him. ( Stop judging me.) I felt uncomfortable and needed to talk about it. I asked if I could come over for a quick chat. He declined."
An individual with a small, longstanding circle of friends experienced a painful encounter with a seemingly safe new friend after escaping an abusive relationship. The new friend initially provided comfort, routine, and introductions to his child, with frequent contact and reassuring messages. Over time, the friend spoke ill of mutual acquaintances, reacted angrily when asked to repay money, and displayed inconsistent boundaries. After a regretted physical encounter, attempts to address discomfort were dismissed when the friend declined to talk. The pattern shifted from comforting to manipulative and disrespectful, signaling that the relationship no longer nourished the soul and required leaving.
Read at Tiny Buddha
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