In a recent podcast, Tim Ferriss talked with family therapist Terry Real about what he calls "normal marital hatred." This feeling of resentment or anger toward a spouse, while unsettling, is a common aspect of marriage and typically indicates that couples are experiencing significant growth. Real emphasizes that relationships go through cycles of harmony, disharmony, and eventual repair, and it is during these challenging times that couples learn and develop crucial skills. Recognizing these phases can ultimately strengthen marital bonds.
The essential rhythm of all relationships is harmony, disharmony, and repair. Closeness, disruption, and a return to closeness. That's where the skills come in.
The day you turn to the person who's next to you and you say, 'This is a mistake, I've been had,' that ... is the first day of your real marriage.
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