"Relationships thrive or falter on the smallest of cues: a shared laugh, a thoughtful gesture, or, surprisingly, perhaps, a simple two-word phrase. Too often, we rely on complaint, criticism, or avoidance to signal what we want. What partners really need is a clear expression of our desires: "I want..." Why are these two words so powerful? Because they signal want, rather than suggesting blame. Because they articulate current needs, rather than hinting at past neglect."
"A recent paper in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology examined two forms of subjective relationship knowledge: the belief that one is known by one's partner and the belief that one knows one's partner. This analysis identified seven studies that show that believing one is known by one's partner (i.e., "feeling known") predicts relationship satisfaction more than believing that one knows one's partner (i.e., "felt knowing")."
Clear expressions of desire using "I want" communicate present needs without blame, fostering connection and vulnerability. These two words invite partners to collaborate on future needs rather than rehash past neglect. Openly stating desires helps partners tune in instead of tuning out and reduces resentment caused by indirect communication. Research indicates that feeling known by a partner predicts relationship satisfaction more strongly than believing one knows the partner. Therefore, expressing needs enhances understanding—the deep currency of relationships—and encourages partners to offer support, spend time together, and align on shared relational goals.
Read at Psychology Today
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