"It sounds like a great idea to me. Granted, you're hearing from someone who makes New Year's resolutions and keeps them (intermittent fasting and yoga once a week are among my resolutions from years ago that I've held onto). Around this time of year, you will regularly see data suggesting that most people fail to permanently integrate New Year's resolutions into their lives."
"To set yourself up for success, you should get more specific about your goals. I think your suspicion that they're too nebulous as they stand is correct. So you might want to say, "We'll have sex X number of times per month/week." Or, "We'll try to connect sexually at least one evening of every week." Or, "We will explore this kink/position/interest in January," and pick a new one each week or month."
Treat the resolution as a concrete plan: set measurable goals such as a target number of sexual encounters per week or a dedicated weekly evening to connect. Rotate experiments — specific kinks, positions, or activities — monthly or weekly to reinvigorate novelty. Schedule intimacy and create small rituals to prioritize sex amid work, stress, and family obligations. Negotiate boundaries, be explicit about motivations, and use shared incentives or gentle tracking to maintain momentum rather than punishments. If emotional distance, mismatched desire, or other persistent barriers remain, seek couples therapy or individual help. Expect gradual progress and consistent effort to create lasting change.
Read at Slate Magazine
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