This is how we do it: I'd compare myself with other women and end up having panic attacks'

"I had some messed up ideas around a woman's role and the influence of porn on that Jake was my first. I was 17 and he was 18. I lost my virginity way later than all my friends; sex had been so far out of my comfort zone. For me it was like social currency and I put a lot of pressure on myself to get it done."

"Since being with Jake I've worked on breaking down that pressure around sex. It's been a difficult journey. We've been together for more than four years now and once in a while I find myself getting into a spiral in my head. I've had a couple of panic attacks and worked myself up about sex. Jake has taught me that intimacy can be cuddling and just feeling warm next to each other"

"When Jake and I had sex, it would be in my mind and affect what I was doing I'd hold back and not feel good enough. So in the end we'd stick to pretty basic positions. I didn't properly communicate this with Jake until about a year ago when I had a severe panic attack. We realised that, almost four years in, we'd never had a conversation around sex."

A young woman internalized distorted beliefs about female sexuality and the influence of porn, causing shame, comparison, and pressure to have sex. Early sexual experience felt like social currency, and anxiety led to panic attacks and inhibited sexual expression. The couple had avoided explicit conversations about sex for years, which maintained limited sexual routines. Through open dialogue, in-the-moment feedback, meditation, and breathing techniques, the partner provided support and reframed intimacy to include cuddling and physical closeness. Reducing self-pressure and prioritizing emotional safety enabled exploration, increased intimacy, and improved sexual satisfaction.

Read at www.theguardian.com