This is how we do it: As we're newlyweds there's a pressure to always be at it. We've even had sex in a train toilet''

"We stayed friends, and I would tell him about my hook-ups, including a threesome I'd had, hoping it would make me seem interesting and available, but it actually put him off. I had quite a lot of casual sex at university I was having fun, but also chasing affirmation, reassurance that I was desirable. But I began to regret my promiscuity after reconnecting with my faith in my final year."

"We tried, and failed, to implement a no-sex-before-marriage rule; I wore pyjamas to bed, we stopped buying condoms, but none of it worked. There's pressure as newlyweds to constantly be at it, as if our relationship is defined by how much sex we're having. We probably do it three to five times a week, but I wonder if we should be doing it every day."

A woman met Luke as a drunken one-night stand at university and later married him after reconnecting. She had a history of casual sex and regained her Catholic faith, which led her to regret her past and decide to wait for commitment. Attempts at a no-sex-before-marriage rule failed, and the couple now have sex three to five times a week. She has a higher sex drive, still uses sex for affirmation, and feels insecure when Luke is tired or uninterested, worrying he preferred past partners. She loves life with Luke and hopes to silence the voice that says she is not enough.

Read at www.theguardian.com