The article discusses how the blame-defend cycle in relationships prevents couples from forming deeper connections. It highlights how criticism and defensiveness become barriers, obscuring genuine emotional needs like care and appreciation. The text illustrates a typical conflict scenario between partners and emphasizes that both feel unheard and unappreciated. By invoking self-protective mechanisms, partners shut themselves off from meaningful communication. The author suggests that relinquishing these defenses can pave the way for better understanding and fulfilling relational needs, ultimately resolving conflicts more effectively.
The blame-defend cycle keeps couples stuck because criticism and defensiveness block real connection.
Conflict hides deeper emotional needs, such as the desire for care, appreciation, and acknowledgment.
Self-protection prevents true listening, while dropping defenses opens space for real understanding.
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