The 4 Most Common Topics Couples Argue About

"What do you and your partner argue about? Though the details-the facts and context of the argument-usually vary, most likely you find yourselves always circling around one or two familiar topics. Here are the four most common areas and their underlying issues. See where you fit. 1. Parenting Who is being too strict, and who is being too lax? What of children's behaviors need to be addressed, and what can be ignored? What are the consequences, and how are they enforced?"

"Common threads While the content for each category varies, they share four common threads: Reacting to upbringing: If your parents were savers, you may instinctively feel that this is a good way to manage money. On the other hand, if your takeaway from your childhood experience was that it created a too puritanical life, you may swing to the other side and rationalize that spending is good, not bad. Ditto for parenting. As individuals, you often bounce off your parents in very black-and-white ways."

Couples most often argue about sex, money, parenting, and lifestyle. Underlying drivers include anxiety differences, parental upbringing, polarization, and power struggles. Parenting disputes focus on strictness versus laxity, behavior management, consequences, and fairness among children. Money conflicts arise from spender-versus-saver dynamics and tolerable debt levels. Sexual disagreements center on frequency, initiation, spontaneity versus scheduling, preferences, and differing libidos. Lifestyle fights concern future goals, number of children, career priorities, living location, and expectations about couple and family life. Effective resolution requires adopting an us-against-the-problem stance and creating win-win compromises.

Read at Psychology Today