"researchers found that the more insecure a partner's attachment style is, the lower their relationship satisfaction tends to be. Partners with avoidant and anxious attachment styles tend to fear rejection and abandonment, but react to this fear in different ways. An anxious attachment style often shows up as a higher need for reassurance and lower self-esteem in relationships, while an avoidant attachment style is reflected in behaviors that create emotional distance, including avoiding emotional intimacy, being hyper-independent and struggling to be vulnerable with one's partner."
"However, no one is limited by these labels. Attachment styles are simply ways to understand one's tendencies in a relationship. These approaches to romantic connection are malleable, rather than fixed personality traits. Cultivating attachment security involves being trusting, vulnerable and open to emotional intimacy. It's reflected in a comfort with closeness, open communication and independence in relationships. Securely attached partners tend to strike a healthy balance between self-reliance and intimate connection with their partners, and this is a skill that can be learned with time."
Over 500 women and 300 men were surveyed to identify qualities linked to relationship satisfaction. Insecure attachment styles—anxious or avoidant—correlate with lower satisfaction. Anxious attachment often appears as a higher need for reassurance and lower self-esteem, while avoidant attachment shows as emotional distance, hyper-independence, and difficulty with vulnerability. Attachment styles are malleable rather than fixed, and cultivating attachment security requires trust, vulnerability, openness to emotional intimacy, comfort with closeness, and open communication. Securely attached partners balance self-reliance with intimate connection, and developing these skills takes time; insecure partners may need time to learn safety in relationships.
Read at Psychology Today
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