"Being friends with the kids may look something like this: parents may start to dress like their kids, they may share way too much information about their own personal lives with their kids and perhaps even with their kids' friends, and boundaries might get blurred. Clearly, parents intend no harm. This is just a reminder that you can get close to your kids without being one."
"Friends cannot be authority figures. Friends are not in a position to set rules, expectations, and curfews. When you befriend your child, you lose your ability to set limits, structure, and expectations. Trust me when I tell you that there is no question here: your kids not only need but also want structure and limits. They won't tell you this, but without these, they feel adrift."
"Becoming friends with your teen is a slippery slope because friends share secrets and act as each other's confidantes. Your teens are simply not equipped to act as your confidante. They are very uncomfortable when you confide in them about their other parent and similarly personal topics. Discuss these topics with a trusted adult friend instead. Your kids will be grateful. They tell me that they don't know what to do or say when you ask their opinion on sensitive adult topics."
Parents often seek closeness with teens by trying to be their friends, but teens prefer parents who act like adults and provide clear boundaries. Friend-like parenting can blur limits, lead parents to overshare personal details, and cause embarrassment for children. Friends cannot function as authority figures responsible for rules, expectations, and curfews; without parental structure teens feel adrift. Teens are not equipped to serve as confidantes for adult problems and become uncomfortable when asked to weigh in on sensitive issues. Parents should maintain adult roles, set limits, and confide in trusted adult friends instead.
Read at Psychology Today
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