"The first time I met one of his friends - a guy in his thirties - it was a big, fun night, I wanted his friend to feel included (it was mostly couples), so I put my arm around him and bumped hips with him on the dance floor. We were all dancing together. I'm pretty sure he grabbed my ass when I was making out with my boyfriend on the dance floor."
"You used your words - you shut that guy down - and good for you. Now you need to keep using your words: "That one friend of yours seems to have a crush on me too." Tell your boyfriend you grinded (ground?) on his friend a little while everyone was dancing, just to be polite during that chem-fueled dance party, and his friend either misread your intentions (charitable read) or seized the opportunity (less charitable read) to grab your ass."
A cisgender bisexual woman in her late forties experienced unwanted groping from a friend's male acquaintance while making out with her boyfriend on a crowded dance floor. She verbally shut the man down when he later made flirtatious comments implying he wanted something if her boyfriend were not present. She feels conflicted about telling her boyfriend for fear of causing conflict with his friend. The recommended action is to tell the boyfriend candidly, describe the dancing and the groping, and frame the incident as either a misread or a deliberate grab. Clear communication, boundary-setting with the friend, and prioritizing personal and relationship safety are advised.
Read at Portland Mercury
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