Of The 5 Love Languages, This One's The Most Misunderstood. Here's Why.

"In his long-standing New York Times bestseller "The 5 Love Languages," author Gary Chapman - a Baptist pastor, church counselor and speaker - first introduced his theory that people feel most loved when their partner expresses affection in their predominant "language." The problem, he noted, is that we often show love to our S.O. in the way we personally like to receive it - even though our preference usually differs from theirs. That's why figuring out your partner's love language is essential. (You can both take the online quiz, if you haven't already)."

""People seem to look down on the 'receiving gifts' love language and attach unfair judgments," Nicole Saunders - a therapist in Charlotte, North Carolina, who recommends the book to her clients - told HuffPost. "They may consider a person with that language to be materialistic, frivolous and shallow." But that's often not the case. Chapman explained that it's not the price tag that's important to this person - it's the thought, care or effort that went into choosing or executing the gift. The right present makes this person feel seen, understood or appreciated."

"'If you're kind of lighthearted about it and just say, 'Oh, well their love language is gifts so I'll just give them anything,' but it's not something they have an interest in, then it will not mean as much to them as if they realize, 'Oh, you knew me well enough to know that I collect spoons' or whatever it might be,' Chapman said. "A thoughtful gift speaks more deeply than a gift given rather flippantly," he added."

People feel most loved when partners express affection in the recipient's predominant love language. A common mistake is expressing love in the way one prefers to receive it rather than matching the partner's preference. Receiving gifts often attracts unfair judgments of materialism or shallowness, but the emphasis is on thoughtfulness, care and effort rather than price. A meaningful present signals that the giver sees, understands and appreciates the recipient. Thoughtful gifts aligned with the recipient's interests carry more emotional weight than expensive or flippant items. Matching gestures to individual preferences strengthens feelings of being valued.

Read at HuffPost