The article discusses the fluid nature of relationships, emphasizing the importance of real-time awareness and responsiveness to one another's openness. It highlights how our perceptions of warmth and connection in relationships can shift based on our current states of openness. The concept of 'aperture' is introduced, promoting a mindful approach to interactions. Additionally, it references research indicating that humans often divert their attention from present moments, revealing challenges in engaging authentically in relationships. Understanding how to stay present can enhance connection and communication between partners.
A relationship is a fluid, moving thing-open, closed, in, out. Never still, never the same. It's easy to be lost in the swirling complexity of feelings.
Learning to sense openness in each moment is the key to navigating the complexities of a relationship. I often refer to openness in relationships as aperture.
You're sensing, in exactly this moment: how open are you, how open are they, now? Because the present moment is the only moment to influence your relationship.
Matthew Killingsworth and Daniel Gilbert studied our ability to attend to the present moment and found that participants were thinking about something other than what they were doing 47% of the time.
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