"You have definitely been put in a difficult situation, but your sister deserves your loyalty (unless she has done something to you that suggests otherwise). This is the kind of situation where you should hang back and not stir up drama. This affair may be fleeting, and it may ultimately have no bearing on your sister and her husband's shared life."
"Of course there is the alternative possibility-this will torpedo her life-but I think you should let what will happen happen. Consider yet another scenario in which your sister decides to reveal this affair to her husband, and that in turn, leads to them opening up their relationship. Your interference could inject drama into a situation that might have otherwise resolved peacefully. It's not worth the risk."
The sister disclosed an affair motivated by dissatisfaction with her husband's sexual performance. The immediate advice is to remain discreet and refrain from telling the brother-in-law. The affair could be fleeting, could destroy the marriage, or could lead the couple to open their relationship; outside interference could worsen the situation. The confidant may encourage confession but must avoid imposing personal values. The confidant can explain that the secret feels burdensome and request that the sister stop discussing it. Revealing the secret risks losing the sibling relationship and the sister's future presence in family life.
Read at Slate Magazine
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