A 27-year-old woman dating another woman wants less verbal checking during sex because it feels distracting. Her partner repeatedly asks whether she feels safe and whether she is having fun, and she becomes less in the mood when questions are mirrored back. The partner prefers reading body language but also worries when verbal confirmation is missing. The writer has tried being louder, more enthusiastic, and giving detailed post-sex feedback about favorite parts. Guidance suggests that the partner may need verbal reinforcement throughout the relationship, and that checking in about what drives the need for verbal confirmation can help. Direct affirmations like “Yes! That feels awesome” and agreed hand signals can provide ongoing reassurance without constant questioning.
"Sage may not be able to read your body language, and may need verbal reinforcement from you for the duration of your relationship. Check in with her about communication, and ask her if she knows what's driving her need to verbally confirm your enjoyment. From there, you'll have a better idea of how you can achieve a compromise."
"You might make your loudness and enthusiasm more direct, such as "Yes! That feels awesome." You also might work out hand signals-if your hand is clutching a part of her body, that's an enthusiastic, continual YES. Ask her to come up with ideas as"
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