"My mother and I weren't close when I was a kid because I thought she was too strict. Now she's 90, and I've learned to forgive and accept her. With this new phase of our relationship, I'm cherishing the small moments together. I grew up in Guyana, where cultural norms set the tone for my mother's parenting and led to plenty of friction in my teen and young adult years - friction that needed time and perspective to soften."
"My own education and exposure helped me look past my early judgments and see how profoundly environment shapes behavior. Mom had lived within strictly paternalistic rhythms, armed with only a fifth-grade education. That realization softened me. What used to be disappointment became a gentler understanding. I saw that in her place, I might have made the same choices. This thought alone lifted something heavy. It gave me space to replace resentment with compassion"
A daughter recounts growing up under strict, paternalistic parenting shaped by Guyanese cultural norms and a mother's limited education. Early clashes arose from differing values: the daughter's desire for autonomy versus a rule that children were to be seen and not heard. Exposure to travel, literature, and broader perspectives allowed the daughter to reframe the mother's behavior as learned patterns rather than malice. Understanding the mother's upbringing and constrained options softened resentment and enabled forgiveness. The mother now lives with the daughter at age ninety, and the daughter focuses on savoring small rituals, cherishing time together, and practicing compassion.
Read at Business Insider
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