My Husband Won't See a Doctor for His Erectile Issues. Boy Does He Hate the Way I Improvise.

"Do you think he can satisfy you? That is, if his dick were never to get hard again, could you still have satisfying sex by means other than PIV? Oral/manual? Tantra? Something kinky? Figure that out before bringing this up again, at a time when you are getting along and have no outstanding conflict."

"Tell him you weren't trying to hurt his feelings-your pleasure is not a weapon with which to torture him. Leave the door open for him to go further into his fatigue-this may have just been an excuse, but it could be at the root of the issue."

"In the event that the conversation turns to his not-hard dick, which seems likely, let him know you aren't judging him but that if he wants to see some movement there and regain the ability to achieve consistent erections, he may easily be able to do so with the help of a doctor."

A woman in her early 50s seeks advice on convincing her husband to address erectile dysfunction. He dismisses the issue as fatigue and reacted defensively when she used a dildo privately. The advice recommends first determining whether satisfying sex is possible through non-penetrative activities like oral, manual stimulation, or tantric practices. Communication should occur during calm moments, emphasizing that her pleasure is not an attack on his masculinity. The conversation should acknowledge potential underlying fatigue or stress while gently presenting medical consultation as an accessible option to restore erectile function, framing it as a solution rather than criticism.

Read at Slate Magazine