"It's worth doing what you're doing now-refusing sex and sleeping in separate rooms-while you sort out your feelings. Sometimes, it's unfair to judge people based on their worst behavior; at other times, the worst behavior is so scarring that it ends up defining the relationship for us, like it or not. Now is the time to take stock. Is the relationship otherwise loving, with open communication and a strong sense of equality/both partners' needs being met?"
"Dear How to Do It, His peeing on you without discussing it with you first was not OK. Though there are plenty of piss enthusiasts out there, many people are disgusted by the notion for good reasons: Most of us are taught from an early age that such waste is dirty and should be avoided at all costs. As with any kink or fetish, though, regardless of the cultural associations around it, it should have been discussed ahead of time."
A husband unexpectedly urinated on his wife after sex, causing shock, disgust, and withdrawal from intimacy and shared sleeping. Immediate boundaries such as refusing sex and sleeping separately are appropriate while feelings are processed. Partners should assess whether the incident was an isolated violation or part of a broader pattern of coercive behavior that disregards consent. Any kink, including watersports, requires prior discussion and explicit consent. If the relationship otherwise shows mutual respect, open communication, and equality, repair may be possible with accountability, clear boundaries, and professional help. If the act reflects ongoing disregard for consent, ending the relationship may be necessary for safety and well-being.
Read at Slate Magazine
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