"Last Saturday, we were supposed to go to one when Lucas came down with a bug. I asked if it would be OK if I still went since I wasn't sick, and he said, "Fine." Now he's pissed at me for going, even though I offered to stay home and he gave me the green light to go. He says I was supposed to insist on staying home to take care of him, and says I was being selfish."
"Part of the reason to go to a party is to have fun and go to a party. But another part of the reason to go to a party is so that you get invited to future parties. Sometimes you don't show up, and then you don't get invited back. And it could be just one time, but people figure you've moved on, you're not interested, etc. "I'm sick" is a classic excuse that people give and that people don't trust."
A partner became ill before a planned sex party; the healthy partner asked permission to go and received an affirmative response. The ill partner later became angry, claiming the healthy partner should have insisted on staying to care for them. The situation exposes unclear expectations about attending social sex events when one partner is sick. Social protocols around swingers' parties can be sensitive, with attendance affecting future invitations and trust when "sick" is used as a reason to miss events. Clear communication and agreed-upon norms about cancellations and caregiving responsibilities can prevent resentment.
Read at Slate Magazine
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