"For the past several weeks, my girlfriend has been obsessed with the TV show about gay hockey players. She rewatches episodes most days, and she's constantly on her phone looking at gifs and memes on Tumblr. She's reading fan fiction and texting her group chat about it basically all day. She's a fan of many things, and these behaviors aren't new, but with this show it feels out of control."
"This is about Heated Rivalry, yes? I get it. That show is a drug. Some fans call it " Heated Rivalry psychosis." I prefer " Heated Rivalry brain worms." Whatever it is, baby, oh baby, I've got it bad. Just yesterday, my partner asked if we were going to be "like this forever," and I said, "probably not?" Not exactly reassuring, I know, but I think it's true."
Girlfriend's intense fandom involves daily rewatching, constant Tumblr browsing, fan fiction reading, and near-constant group-texting, producing euphoric, manic-like excitement and reduced presence in the relationship. Such feverish fandom often peaks and fades; it frequently represents temporary enthusiasm rather than lasting pathology. Partners should approach with curiosity and empathy, check in about wellbeing, and set gentle boundaries when obsession consistently displaces shared time. Practical steps include scheduling dedicated couple time, limiting solo-fandom time, and avoiding shaming. If the behavior persists, causes functional impairment, or resembles clinical mania, pursue supportive conversations and consider professional mental-health evaluation.
Read at Slate Magazine
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