My Daughter Says She Isn't Mad That I'm Engaged to Her Childhood Best Friend. The Ultimatum She Just Gave Me Suggests She Is.

A father remarried after his first wife died and later proposed to his daughter’s former bridesmaid. He told his daughter about the relationship and engagement, and she responded with concern about inheritance. She worried that his unique 1884 Victorian home, which she grew up in, would pass to his new partner and any children they might have, rather than to her and her children. She noted the home was originally gifted to him and his first wife by her in-laws. She proposed conditions for allowing contact with her unborn son and future children, requiring either a transfer of the home to her and the father as joint tenants or an irrevocable trust naming her and her children as beneficiaries. She aimed to prevent changes to his estate plan after she reviewed it.

"My daughter “Isabella” is married to a successful young lawyer and is eight months pregnant with their first child. My first wife and I wanted more children, but it never happened. She lost her battle with cancer when Isabella was 16. I didn't feel like dating again for almost five years. Over the next few years I saw several women, none very seriously."

"At Isabella's wedding in 2019, I connected with one of her bridesmaids, “Madison,” a lovely young woman I'd last seen as a gawky teenager. Isabella was shocked when she found out Madison and I were dating, but didn't expect it to last long. But I just proposed to Madison, and she accepted. I took Isabella out to lunch to tell her."

"My daughter wrote that she's worried about her inheritance if Madison and I have children. Specifically, she's afraid my house—a beautiful and unique 1884 Victorian which Isabella grew up in from birth, and is deeply attached to—will go to Madison upon my death, and then to my children with Madison, instead of to her and her children. She feels this would be especially unfair because her mother and I were gifted the house by my in-laws."

"While she says this is hard for her, she's decided to disallow me any relationship with her unborn son and any future children of hers unless I either transfer the house to her and myself as joint tenants, so she will automatically inherit my share, or to an irrevocable trust with her and her children as beneficiaries. This would prevent me from making a will, then changing it once she's seen it. She says it's fine if I give Madison a life estate so she could continue to inha"

Read at Slate Magazine