"I am a single mum to an 18-year-old daughter. It has always been just us two, and we have a very open, supportive, healthy relationship. She is going away to university in the new year and has recently developed a new friendship group I know less well than her old friends. They all seem friendly, look out for each other, and don't let anyone go home on their own, etc."
"At first, I found her being out late with her friends particularly worrying. It took me a few days to get used to this new part of life, but we talked and I got across to her that it's purely me worrying about her safety I think she felt I was annoyed with her. I just worry, though I really appreciate that she keeps me informed of where she is, and I know many 18-year-olds wouldn't be so open."
"This is a major transition for both of you, but whereas for your daughter it seems to be all about new experiences and gain, for you it seems more about loss. The reality is that this is about letting go of the old, accepting the new and sitting with some feelings which may be uncomfortable for both of you. It sounds as if you have a really good relationship and you've given your daughter a solid base from which to fledge,"
An 18-year-old daughter from a single-parent household is forming a new friendship group and preparing to leave for university. The mother feels anxious about late nights and rapid development of a romantic relationship, finding empty-nest feelings arriving earlier than expected. The daughter communicates whereabouts and appears responsible. The central tasks are ensuring the daughter's safety, defining household boundaries for overnight guests, and allowing autonomy. The mother should acknowledge feelings of loss, preserve open communication, and support the daughter's independence while setting clear expectations about who stays overnight. Strong preexisting parent-child trust provides a healthy foundation for this transition.
Read at www.theguardian.com
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