"I recently had a small destination wedding in another state. She also eloped around the time of my wedding, but her in-laws don't support her marriage. We were promoted to the same role at the same time, but in different departments. Recently, Bethany texted apologizing "if things got weird," saying she didn't want me to think she was "stealing my thunder," and invited me to lunch. I replied, but she never responded."
"I'm sorry Bethany is disrupting your peace at work. It's impossible to know her motives. She might feel competitive with you and resent your success. She might invent a revolving cast of villains for the sake of drama. It's possible she misunderstood something through the workplace game of telephone and genuinely thinks you're irritated with her. Not that getting promoted or married at the same time could steal anyone's thunder, for goodness' sake! Happiness is not a contest-and it's not a finite resource."
Two colleagues experienced simultaneous promotions while one had a small destination wedding and the other eloped amid disapproval from in-laws. After an apologetic text admitting she didn't want to seem like she was stealing thunder and an unfulfilled lunch invitation, the eloping colleague began avoiding her co-worker and reportedly told others that the co-worker had criticized her absence from bridal showers. Possible explanations include competitiveness, insecurity, miscommunication through workplace gossip, or attention-seeking drama. The recommended approach is to assume unknown motives, avoid retaliatory exclusion, attempt calm direct communication if appropriate, and prioritize a peaceful, professional work environment over escalating conflict.
Read at Slate Magazine
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