"This is one of those things I only discovered once I moved in with my boyfriend a couple of months ago: I feel horrible, uncontrollable disgust if he comes on to me or touches me sexually after I use the bathroom. But, every time, like clockwork, he's on me like some sort of excretory missile. It happens right after I poop."
"I understand your fear of learning something you'd rather not know about your boyfriend, but I don't think there's an efficient indirect route here. What would the options even be? A stage whisper upon exiting the bathroom: "Wow, I just blew that place up. I have never shit like that in my life. I hope no one touches me for at least 15 minutes!!!" You see?"
A person feels intense, uncontrollable disgust when their partner initiates sexual contact immediately after they use the bathroom, especially after defecating. The person needs roughly 15–20 minutes to recover before tolerating sexual touch. The partner may be initiating because of limited apartment space or habit, or possibly because of arousal linked to the situation. The recommended approach is direct, plainspoken communication requesting a short waiting period rather than indirect hints. Avoid accusatory framing like "You always do this," and present the request as a clear personal boundary delivered calmly and simply.
Read at Slate Magazine
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