"It is not that the bride's parents should be allowed to issue invitations to the wedding because they are paying for it. Rather, it is that they should be allowed to issue invitations because they are the bride's parents. But before you are too pleased with that answer, it is also true that bigger families require more invitations. Miss Manners is not suggesting that you solve this conflict by throwing more money at it."
"When the bride's parents pay for the wedding, should they not be able to invite at least half of the guests? Our daughter has been engaged for almost two years and has a baby with her fiance. Now they want a wedding, so we told them how much we could contribute. They have no money set aside, and his parents will contribute nothing. It seems that weddings have become outrageously expensive, so they will need to have a small event (no more than 100 guests)."
The bride's parents are funding a wedding with a strict budget, and conflict has arisen over guest allocation when the groom's large family claims the majority of invitations while the couple and bride's side have limited invites. The right to invite derives from parental role and the importance of relationships, not from payment. Larger families naturally require more invitations, which should be acknowledged when planning. Solving the problem does not require increasing the budget. Prioritize people over lavish accoutrements. Create lists of individuals important to each family first, then use those lists to determine guest count and allocate funds accordingly.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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