"GENTLE READER: There is no real logic as to why flatulence and burping are rude and sneezing is not, presuming they are all unintentional. Still, saying bless you after anything other than a sneeze seems like admonishment as though a sneeze is what the person meant to do, and it just came out wrong. Miss Manners seems to have put her finger on it. Although she would have been just as happy not to have done."
"GENTLE READER: Could you take another bus? Perhaps this is too drastic, but a note feels too intimate, saying something in-person a bit confrontational and ignoring it only temporary eventually he will follow up. It might be fun, however, to ask your husband to join you one morning. The young man's reaction, Miss Manners guesses, will be a good indication of what exactly he was admiring."
Sneezing typically warrants a 'bless you,' while responding with 'bless you' to burps or flatulence can feel like an admonishment, implying intent rather than accident. No strict logic distinguishes sneezes from other involuntary bodily functions, yet social perception treats them differently. A bus passenger who receives an admiring note from a regular driver has several options: take another bus to avoid contact, reply in person which risks confrontation, politely ignore though the admirer may persist, or bring a spouse along to gauge the admirer’s reaction. A separate letter describes a widow who is openly affectionate and generous with hugs.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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