"I made arrangements with a couple of acquaintances for an overnight trip to celebrate one of their birthdays and to sightsee. We were to stay in a hotel. Five weeks prior to the night, some close family friends told me they were coming to visit me that same weekend. I told the acquaintance whose birthday it was that I could not make it after all. They became upset because the hotel reservation was non-refundable. I apologized and explained that these other friends were coming"
"GENTLE READER: You will not have to worry about this next year. Not only did you break a social (and financial) commitment, but you also made it clear that you did so because you had a more attractive offer. Miss Manners assures you that you will not be invited to celebrate this birthday again. But yes, you should still pay your share."
A person canceled a planned overnight trip to celebrate an acquaintance's birthday because closer out-of-state family friends visited the same weekend. The hotel reservation was non-refundable, though rescheduling was possible, and the acquaintance proceeded with the trip without the canceling person. The canceling person was told by Miss Manners that breaking a social and financial commitment to accept a more attractive offer likely ends future invitations and that the canceling person should still pay their share. A second correspondent of Asian descent is bothered by repeated questions about origin; the question was once a benign conversational opener because Americans moved frequently.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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