Miss Manners: A man from my class followed me to my car and lectured me about bras

"For example, I was asking my friends about a type of bra, and later that day, this classmate followed me to my car and gave me a tutorial about bras. The crazy thing is he didn't seem to notice that I was very uncomfortable. So I didn't say or do anything about that situation, and now today, he chimed in again. I was talking with my teacher about severe cramps and vaginal pain, and he jumped in the conversation to explain why it's happening."

"GENTLE READER: The fact that he is following you to your car is more concerning to Miss Manners than his choice of subject. She recommends you focus on that needing to stop and avoid the trap of telling him that women do not wish to hear a man's opinion on women things. Of course it is irksome, but would it not be worse to have him explain to you how you would feel if the situation were reversed?"

"A director at my place of work sent out a systemwide email inviting everyone to a baby shower for her daughter, who does not work here, never has, and no one here knows her, except by name. The shower is scheduled for two hours, during work, in one of the rooms at my place of employment. Many of us are baffled by, first of all, the use of the companywide email system (that very few people have access to) for such a strange invitation."

A female student reports a male classmate repeatedly interrupts intimate conversations, follows her to her car, and offers unsolicited explanations about female topics, causing significant discomfort and raising safety concerns. The primary issue is the following, which should be stopped directly. Addressing the behavior should focus on insisting the following cease, avoiding gendered debates about who may comment on women's issues, and keeping private conversations away from his earshot. Separately, a workplace director used a scarce companywide email to invite employees to a nonemployee's two-hour baby shower during work, which many staff view as inappropriate and a misuse of limited communication privileges.

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